from July 1, 2004
One year ago I signed on to this blog, flying back and forth from my native Dublin to Large Southwestern City twice a month in order to participate, along with three of my four fellow columnists, in the Round Table.
During that time I have founded and organized and chaired the Myles Junior Think Tank (MJTT), an institute for forming brilliant theories about making the world a better place in which to live. With the help of my associates at MJTT, as well as extensive confabs with colleagues at JPL and NASA, I have put forth ideas for (1) ridding the world of smog, (2) patching the depleted ozone layer that hovers above Antarctica and environs, (3) deriving power from the light of the moon and its cousin satellites of other planets, (4) reconstructing upper-class art museums so that they will be easier on the feet, (5) and reconstructing museums for the hoi polloi so that their floors will be easier on the feet.
I have also (6) investigated the rumor that the universe is sinking, (7) inaugurated a state-of-the-art cremation service, (8) examined the possibility that there is global warming on Mars, (9) identified a sea creature as the “San Luis Monster,” (10) solved the problem of global warming for the new millennium, (11) drawn up the blueprints for an aircraft that will allow tired passengers to sleep in the prone position on their trans-oceanic flights, (12) checked the health of the presidential candidate representing the Dead Rights Party, and, among other feats, (13) consulted with a Pueblo Round Table colleague on the possibility that Jesus ascended to Mars.
(For details of these and other feats, see the Archives.)
We at MJTT are pleased to report that the world is indeed on a better footing, at least theoretically, than was the case a short twelve months ago.
We are not as pleased to report that we are currently suffering from a major case of brain burnout.
Has our response to this potential disaster been one of despair? It has not. Indeed, this problem has made us redouble our zeal to continue our God-given quest for perfecting His creation.
Following our tried-and-true method for solving pressing problems, we have (1) identified the current difficulty, (2) sought its cause, and (3) considered how to overcome it.
With regard to the first step, we have identified the problem of brain burnout as a case of substantial though not fatal brain burnout—a common malady among those of our ilk, a malady whose symptoms include headache, fever, and sore fingertips.
Second, we have identified the cause of this problem as overwork.
Finally, we have spent the last week to ten days thinking about how to overcome it.
Our tentative conclusion is that we should take a vacation.
We plan, however, to be back to fulfilling our sacred duty to present our world-saving thoughts for the next edition—unless, of course, Paris is more alluring than we could have imagined.