from The Church of the Comic Spirit

God and Abram stand on a hill outside the village, surveying the distant property.

God: There are a few boulders, true, but you also gotta take into account the strategically-located oases.

Abram: (Scornfully) Oases! (Pointing) Is that what you call those watering holes?

God: (Con game) Listen, Abe, you can’t look at them as watering holes. You gotta look at them in terms of (Gesturing grandiosely) swimming pools . . . palm trees . . . hotels . . . American tourists!

Abram: (Scratching his chin) Interesting proposition. Verrry interesting . . . Tell you what. I’ll talk it over with the wife, then I’ll get back to you.

God: Fine, fine. And incidentally, you might point out the central location. It’s close to all the very nice shopping centers— Cairo, Beirut, Baghdad. She’ll know a good thing. So meetcha later.

Abram: Your dream or mine?

God: Let’s make it yours. I don’t dream . . . Don’t even sleep, actually.

Abram: Insomnia, huh?

​God: Right. My omniscience keeps me awake.