from August 11, 2006
The promise I made to address the question of the MJTT’s patented solution to the problem of the SOH (Survival of Humankind) must, I regret to admit, be skirted, perhaps to be revived another day.
We at MJTT were taken aback by the news, reported by Steve Connor, Science Editor of The Independent (UK), that Professor Paul Crutzen, a 1955 Nobel Prize recipient for his work on the hole in the ozone layer, has urged that the problem of the SOH requires a radical solution: Humankind must be prepared to release sulphur (S) particles into the stratosphere.
This solution is based upon the well-established hypothesis that one of the functions of S is to increase the reflectance, or albedo, of PE (Planet Earth), thus causing PE to cool down from its current hothouse trajectory.
The preferred method of release, according to Mr Connor’s 31 July piece, would be to use a fleet of high-altitude balloons. Another option would be to fire the S into the atmosphere using heavy artillery shells (presumably of the spent but retrofitted kind).
Professor Crutzen calculates that the cost of a two-year shot of S would be anywhere from $25 to $50 billion—a price that easily offsets the much larger costs of recent environmental disasters. He adds that an auspicious side effect of the implementation of his plan would be the creation of more spectacular sunsets and sunrises.
“His plan,” reports Mr Connor, “is modeled partly on the Mount Pinatubo volcanic eruption in 1991, when thousands of tons of sulphur were ejected into the atmosphere causing global temperatures to fall.”
On reading Mr Connor’s piece, we at MJTT shifted from our vacation torpor to the mode of urgency. While agreeing with Professor Crutzen on his major premise, that PE is probably getting warmer, as well as his minor premises, (1) that nobody is doing anything about it and (2) S would do the trick, we saw, in the source of his inspiration, a preferable method to effect the SOH.
In brief, we saw something that Professor Crutzen, despite his imagination, had overlooked: that if Pinatubo could do it, why couldn’t its fellow volcanoes follow suit—and at humankind’s pleasure?
To expand this simple yet elegant theory. We (MJTT or its Action Tank susidiary) could cause a volcanic eruption whenever PE became too hot for our comfort. The sharp pencils in our midst have calculated that MJTT is in a position to submit a bid of $22.9 billion to the relevant UN agency. This bid includes our administrative costs.
As for the method of effecting such an eruption, I will have more to say about that matter in my next piece.