from July 5, 2006
A recent media account has alerted the literate public that the world-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking, author of the best-selling, abstruse, slender tome, A Brief History of Time, has warned the world that the Survival of Humankind (SOH) is dependent on our collective capacity to build new dwelling places beyond Planet Earth (PE). Reported Hawking, “Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of.”
Speaking before a select throng of his well-earned fans in Hong Kong, the British scientist opined that, for starters, we could have a base on the moon within two decades and a colony on Mars within an additional pair of decades. Then, if we are not extinct by the end of the present century, we can continue to create space settlements without support from PE.
The more perceptive of us at Myles Junior Think Tank (MJTT) suspect a mole within our midst. For the last two years, we have been discussing the SOH in secret sessions for which we have drawn raves from the scientific elite. Either great minds do indeed think alike (an implausible possibility), or a mole or moles has or have been in touch with Mr Hawking.
But that is water under the bridge. We will handle the mole problem clandestinely but humanely. It devolves upon us now to emerge from the closet, so to speak, and come to terms with the heretofore-secret problem of the SOH.
At this point, all I wish to report concerning our thoughts on this grave matter is that the MJTT has concluded that the greatest danger to PE is the very real possibility that it, and we, will be swept from the face of our longstanding home by a comet’s tail.
The mathematical chances, we have determined using our patented algorithm, of the possible disasters are, in ascending order: (1) sudden global warming; (2) genetically engineered virus; (3) all-out nuclear war; (4) the dissipation of the sun; (5) the failure of gravity to perform; and (6) the aforementioned cometic disaster.
NB: Our algorithm does not take into consideration God’s Wrath as the possible cause of any or all of these possibilities.
In my next column, I will address the question of MJTT’s solution to the problem of the SOH.