March 18, 2024
From Ms. Leticia Ladrona, Esq.
To: Members of the Kachina Round Table, The Watering Hole, Hôtel Adiós, Small Southwestern City, Large Southwestern State
Re: Discussions w/ Chief Rippling River and Señor P. (“Gordo”) Zapata
Herewith: a report on a series of in-depth discussions with Chief Rippling River and Señor Zapata, both of whom have the capacity to serve as conduits to the mind, thoughts, feelings, instincts, etcetera, of the “common person,” a.k.a. the “common man.” Both gentlemen, in Señor Zapata’s telling phrase, “keep their ears to the ground.”
Chief Rippling River is the head bartender (a.k.a. camarero, Sp.) of the Hôtel Adiós Watering Hole. His qualifications for this work include an ability to “keep the saloon hummin’” by which he apparently means both (1) steering, with firm but solicitous hand, his subordinates in the swift, steady completion of their appointed rounds, and (2) aiding the patrons of said saloon in the enjoyment of their experience(s) within its confines, over which Chief Rippling River has a large measure of control, i.e., keeping their discussions within parameters not deleterious to the joie de vivre that is the main, even sole, purpose of any successful drinking establishment. Mr. Rippling River is unmarried, thus giving him the ability to “identify” w/ the widows, widowers, divorcees, and other dispossessed persons who are the staple of every saloon known to man, a.k.a. “humans” and/or “humanity.” Though his job description makes no mention of the fact, he is also a sometime escort of the owner and sole proprietor of the Hôtel Adiós, though he claims to have no interest, either romantic or carnal or some combination thereof, in the lady; being straightforward in his observed demeanor, it would appear that his claim should be accepted without qualification. Simply put, his escort service “goes with the territory.”
Señor P. (“Gordo”) Zapata is the superintendent, deputy sheriff, and head honcho of the enterprise. After interviewing several patrons re Zapata’s job performance, I determined that he performs each of these rôles with diligence, grace, and good humor, as a result of which all patrons appeared comfortable while in his presence and were able, with no fear of undue consequences, to express their opinions on any and all subjects to which the prototypical patron is drawn, whether that subject be sporting events, religion, politics, personal misgivings re one’s current and/or future welfare, or the import and/or significance of sentient existence. Indeed, Mr. Zapata’s status as a happily-wed family man provides him w/ the ability not only to console but to advise the misbegotten ladies and forlorn gentlemen that form the principal clientele of this establishment.
From Ms. Leticia Ladrona, Esq.
To: Members of the Kachina Round Table, The Watering Hole, Hôtel Adiós, Small Southwestern City, Large Southwestern State
Re: Discussions w/ Chief Rippling River and Señor P. (“Gordo”) Zapata
Herewith: a report on a series of in-depth discussions with Chief Rippling River and Señor Zapata, both of whom have the capacity to serve as conduits to the mind, thoughts, feelings, instincts, etcetera, of the “common person,” a.k.a. the “common man.” Both gentlemen, in Señor Zapata’s telling phrase, “keep their ears to the ground.”
Chief Rippling River is the head bartender (a.k.a. camarero, Sp.) of the Hôtel Adiós Watering Hole. His qualifications for this work include an ability to “keep the saloon hummin’” by which he apparently means both (1) steering, with firm but solicitous hand, his subordinates in the swift, steady completion of their appointed rounds, and (2) aiding the patrons of said saloon in the enjoyment of their experience(s) within its confines, over which Chief Rippling River has a large measure of control, i.e., keeping their discussions within parameters not deleterious to the joie de vivre that is the main, even sole, purpose of any successful drinking establishment. Mr. Rippling River is unmarried, thus giving him the ability to “identify” w/ the widows, widowers, divorcees, and other dispossessed persons who are the staple of every saloon known to man, a.k.a. “humans” and/or “humanity.” Though his job description makes no mention of the fact, he is also a sometime escort of the owner and sole proprietor of the Hôtel Adiós, though he claims to have no interest, either romantic or carnal or some combination thereof, in the lady; being straightforward in his observed demeanor, it would appear that his claim should be accepted without qualification. Simply put, his escort service “goes with the territory.”
Señor P. (“Gordo”) Zapata is the superintendent, deputy sheriff, and head honcho of the enterprise. After interviewing several patrons re Zapata’s job performance, I determined that he performs each of these rôles with diligence, grace, and good humor, as a result of which all patrons appeared comfortable while in his presence and were able, with no fear of undue consequences, to express their opinions on any and all subjects to which the prototypical patron is drawn, whether that subject be sporting events, religion, politics, personal misgivings re one’s current and/or future welfare, or the import and/or significance of sentient existence. Indeed, Mr. Zapata’s status as a happily-wed family man provides him w/ the ability not only to console but to advise the misbegotten ladies and forlorn gentlemen that form the principal clientele of this establishment.
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