Ms. Talia gave me her notes on the meeting that Mr. Unknown had called in order to discuss, probe, even eviscerate the autobiographical sketch of Mr. Ennis’s life. These notes could be described as disheveled, disordered, or unkempt, any and all of which modifiers could be used without missing my intended meaning. They were, in a word, untidy. Nonetheless, I was able both to decipher them and to place them within their proper and elegant order—I was an English major (Humboldt State)—as I’m certain my complete oeuvera (oeuvre?) will show.
Now read on.
“(I)n anticipation of the bombs that will be lobbed in my direction”--
Try “to anticipate the bombs,” etc. – Arthur
What? Sounds as if you’re being defensive here. Be positive! – Talia
What kind of bombs? Be more specific. – Myles Jr.
“My direction”? Why not “our direction”? We’ve both got a stake in this.— Orville IV
I love it! – Gordo Z.
I’m cool with it. – Jeff R. R.
“Les mots justes”--
Cut the French. – Arthur
Is this some brand of apple juice? – Talia
You might try this in Gaelic. – Myles Jr.
What’s this shxx (indecipherable) doing here? – Orville IV
Is this the way they speak on the Other Side (la otra cara)? – Gordo Z.
Sounds fine to me. What does it mean? – Jeff R. R.
“(M)y busy poker schedule”--
Turn “poker” to “praying” and you’ll be all right. You need to make a dent in the religious vote. – Arthur
Going by your record, I’d leave this out. Americans like a winner. – Talia
If you decide to go with this, you should include such particulars as a record of your games: winning percentage, monies won or lost, etcetera. – Myles Jr.
What’s this xxx (indecipherable) doing here? – Orville IV
Would you be willing to play me? – Gordo Z.
Deal me in! – Jeff R. R.
“Please, please, please!” etc.
“I’d appreciate your vote” would do it. Cut the rest of the paragraph. – Arthur
Don’t beg. It’s not the real you. – Talia
This entire paragraph is demeaning to all robots, including the pair I have empowered. You are more intelligent than to indulge in a lachrymose appeal to the baser instincts of the masses. – Myles Jr.
I’ve got no problem with this. I’m off for a walk. – Orville IV
What’s “lachrymose”? It doesn’t pass my spell-check. – Gordo Z.
I think it means “tearful,” but don’t take my word for it. – Jeff R. R.