Alas, I find myself forced to address the unfortunate event of my recent death, as reported by my colleague, Arthur Unknown, in his latest scribbling, “Myles na Gopaleen Jr., 1945-2005.”
Sadly, my obituary insinuated, or appeared to insinuate, that I am and will remain non compos mentis (“not in one’s right mind”) until the day after Thanksgiving in this, the Year of Our Lord 2005, when I will be outfitted with a robotic device, “courtesy of the Myles Junior Think Tank’s Enhanced Cremation Service, Beta Version. . . .”
Though it is true, as Mr. Unknown avers, that I am officially deceased, I am now, and expect to remain, capable of remaining a veritable fount of brilliant, occasionally practical, ideas. I plan to continue to guide, with steady hand, the MJTT, including its Enhanced Cremation Service, Beta Version (ECSBV). This despite my internment in an urn created especially for the MJTTECSBV by the eminent Wedgewood factory and guaranteed to remain in excellent condition for two millennia.
While in my present urn-bound state, I had the opportunity to listen to one of my fellow MJTTers read a lengthy article from the October 28 edition of the Chronicle of Higher Education, entitled “The Man Who Would Murder Death.” It seems that a 42-year-old English biogerontologist, Mr Aubrey de Grey, has been making the claim that some people alive at the present time could well expect to live for 1,000 years or longer.
I choose not to stultify my vast readership with the details; it is enough to report that Mr de Grey calls his approach “Strategies for Engineered Senescence”—nomenclature that speaks for itself.
I also choose neither to agree with, nor to take issue with, the plausibility of Mr de Grey’s interesting ideas. My first thought on hearing them did not center on this question, significant though it no doubt is. It centered on the question of the project’s wisdom.
Thus I will spend the next month thinking deeply, acutely, and extensively on this latter question, and—note this—from the perspective of a 60-year-old dead man who has every intention of taking advantage of the ECSBV and any other upgrades that will no doubt ensue.