It was this skill that emptied the churches o’ a Sunday mornin’ and brawt the pear-ishioners o’ various de-nominational per-suasions to muh frunporch, where Ah held fowth on the evils o’ the snake-oil trade and did case-by-case analysees o’ the tricks of battlin’ that evil vo-cation. This is how Ah made muh good-got gains. Not that Ah made a pile: a hayut awn the floor can hold only so many nickels, dimes, and the oc-casional quartuh, an’ I stood well within the law by ownin’ jus a single hayut. Ah still own that hayut, which, lock its mena friens and colleagues, was o’ the ten-gallon variety.
Ah’m also proud as can be that Ah not only re-sisted the tem-tations to join them snake-oilers, Ah also fought ’em! But not tooth-and-nail. Muh maythod was more subtler. Ah followed the tradition of muhgreat-granfathah, Orville Slack I, of muh grandfather, Orville Slack II, an of muh father, Orville Slack III, all deceased, buh learnin’ the tricks o’ the bayg-off trade. Matter o’ fact, Ah’m proud to remind folks that I lifted that tra-dition to the highes' pitch.
It was this skill that emptied the churches o’ a Sunday mornin’ and brawt the pear-ishioners o’ various de-nominational per-suasions to muh frunporch, where Ah held fowth on the evils o’ the snake-oil trade and did case-by-case analysees o’ the tricks of battlin’ that evil vo-cation. This is how Ah made muh good-got gains. Not that Ah made a pile: a hayut awn the floor can hold only so many nickels, dimes, and the oc-casional quartuh, an’ I stood well within the law by ownin’ jus a single hayut. Ah still own that hayut, which, lock its mena friens and colleagues, was o’ the ten-gallon variety.
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Paul Enns Wiebe perpetually asks himself, "What do I want to write when I grow up?" Archives
March 2022
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